Today I’m introducing my first Youtube video for Parker Kate! It’s a hot mess to say the least but it’s a start. I’ve struggled for YEARS to create a video and post it. I’ve created videos before, left them up for a day and taken them down. I defeated myself before I even got started. How many times have you defeated yourself before you’ve started?
I started my venture almost 5 years ago, and there was always a problem. I didn’t have a DSLR, I didn’t have studio lights, I didn’t have the right lens and so on..My younger brother got his B.A. before I even committed to posting ONE video. That’s the running joke between him and myself. There was always an excuse I gave myself to be negative.
The lack of commitment, fear, being judged all helped to become the mortar to seal my brick wall. I became my own worst critic and my biggest disappointment. For what? What was I going to lose? Who was going to judge to me? The internet.
Today I just decided after so long of being my own prison guard, enough was enough. Who cares if I get judged? What am I afraid of? Why not just do it for the enjoyment? Why not? Why not? Why not? If you’re struggling with wanting to do something, just do it. Stop with all the reasons, because you’ll always find one. The self-doubt will always be there, but use it to keep you grounded. Stop waiting, because the ‘right moment’ may never come.
I know the advice is cliché and preachy, but it’s true. I feel a sense of freedom and accomplishment for something so simple. I built up this entire situation in my head to be a big deal. If I put all that effort that I put into self defeat, who knows what Parker Kate could have been by now? I guess now we will find out, want to come along on our journey?